Mom's Shared Journal, Week 1

Week 1:  March 19, 2017

So… I’ve become my Grandma. J All my siblings and cousins will understand what I mean, but you may not.  For Christmas gifts, she would write up quotes from General Authorities and scriptures and share them with all her children and grandchildren.  Often she would include some family history stories and photos.  She placed everything neatly in sheet protectors, attached them with ribbon, and wrote each of her loved ones’ names on the copies to distribute.  I always felt her love for us when she handed these out—but truthfully, I usually read them, thanked her for them, and tucked them away nicely in a drawer.  But a wave of understanding came to me recently.  I understand a little better what she was feeling.  She loved her children and grandchildren and she didn’t want any lesson she learned to go untaught or any story of faith in her life to go untold.  All that really matters in life is what she focused on—and that’s what she consistently shared with her loved ones.  So, when I say, “I’ve become my Grandma,” I really mean I’m hoping that I’m becoming more like my Grandma. 

Last night during our stake conference, I had a profound sense of urgency to share with you all what I would typically put in my journal.  Nothing else mattered at that moment:  not the kitchen tile that needs to be replaced or the new dress I’m hoping to buy.  For that moment, I could see clearly everything that really matters in life. I have to admit that the new dress and the new floor tile crept into my thoughts again, but what matters most is more clear to me. :) 

As a teenager, I was the best journal writer!  I wrote faithfully, every single day, for at least five years.  It’s fun to read what I wrote—but my handwriting is difficult to read and often I wrote in pencil, so these entries won’t exist much longer.  Rather than wait until I’m gone and leave piles of journals to be read or simply stored until there’s time to read them, I thought I’d share my thoughts with my loved ones in a semi-private journal.  (I don’t want to call it a blog because that gives me anxiety!  With too much pressure to add photos in just the right place, or to word everything professionally, I fear that I won’t do it.)  I simply want to share my experiences and thoughts with my loved ones.

Here it goes!  In my Grandma’s words, “Today is the first day of the rest of my life.”  :)